My ACL journey started in a pre-season scrimmage on August 15, 2021. I had a collision in the last five minutes of the game. I didn't realize anything was wrong until I tried to stand up, and my leg did not want to cooperate. My coach immediately knew what had happened; he is also in the ACL club. I was carted off the field, went home, took 3 Advil, an ice bath, and said a prayer. The following day my knee was the size of a grapefruit. I went for an MRI, and 24 hours later, the results were in, and my world was altered.
I was told that the imaging of my knee looked like I had been in a violent car accident, not a soccer game. My left knee had a grade three ACL (anterior cruciate ligament) tear, a grade three MCL (medial collateral ligament) tear, and a shredded meniscus that would require significant surgical repair. Before my surgery could take place, I needed to reduce the swelling, complete a week of Pre-Hab, and get my life sorted to accommodate six weeks of immobilization and physical therapy. Surgery was on September 1, 2021. My surgeon told me the first three days would be incredibly painful - he was not lying!
The postoperative nerve block pain ball did not seem to help. My pain level was 10 out of 10, and the rest of my body was very uncomfortable. The worst part was having to get up and go to the bathroom. Navigating narrow doorways and protruding cabinets was frustrating and painful. After five days, the pain faded, and my determination set in. My goal was to be the best rehabber my physical therapist had ever met.
I went to PT three days a week and diligently followed the at-home exercise program. After six weeks, I moved down to using one crutch and was entirely off crutches at eight weeks. And then, it was time to learn how to walk again. The patience required for an adult to learn how to walk again is immeasurable. Being repeatedly told to fire your glutes and not your quads drove me crazy. The phrase, "Squeeze your butt," is seared into my brain. Each week, I grew stronger, my knee more stable, I was determined to play again. Just shy of 12 months, I received my clearance letter on August 22, 2022. I cried tears of joy and was so proud of all I had overcome. I kept saying that the 2022-2023 season would be my year and that I would prove all naysayers wrong. You can return from multi-ligament surgery and still be great ... until October 11, 2022—a typical night at practice.
Everything was going my way. The hesitation and fear in my head departed, and my body was responding beautifully. I was happy, and my coach was gushing with praise. It was time for me to take a practice shot at the goal. I ran up, brought my leg back, swung forward, and knew 2022 would not be the comeback I wanted. I collapsed to the ground clutching my right leg. Forty-eight hours later, I was sitting with my surgeon, watching him shake his head, trying to understand how a movement I have done a million times over the past ten years would cause the exact damage as a year ago. This time it was a non-contact injury to my right knee with a grade 3 ACL tear, a grade 3 MCL tear, and a torn meniscus. Devastated and inconsolable, I went home and climbed into bed, wondering if I could have the strength to rehab again. Surgery was on October 23, 2022. It has been a long and winding road, but I have maintained course, and my determination to play soccer is stronger than before. Many have told me that returning to play at an elite level after what I've experienced is rarely spoken about. One thing to know about me is that I don't speak; I yell.
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